That “rock-bottom moment” didn’t turn things around for long. Brittany tried to get connected to a faith community through the youth group at a local church, but as soon as her band commitments started to interfere, she stopped going. The “lone wolf Christian” approach didn’t work. It never does. The few times she tried to read her Bible, she had no one to go to with questions, and things continued to spiral downward. Her family life wasn’t great. She really didn’t have anywhere to turn.
So she medicated with alcohol; burning herself; dark secrets. Eventually, she found a form of love in a couple of high school relationships – with other girls. Of course, she hid this from her family which only made things get worse when the relationships ended. Brittany was without hope.
Occasionally, Brittany would open her Bible to read, but she’d fall under conviction when she read it, which only turned into anger. That anger snowballed out of control. She became convinced that God hated her, and her family would immediately abandon her if she ever came clean with her secrets. Eventually, the anger consumed her.
Then, her mother found out about her same-sex attraction. The secret was out. And her mother’s response was shocking. She told Brittany that, while she didn’t understand what she was doing or why, she still loved her and she always would. To her surprise, the rest of her family reacted the same way. This love softened Brittany’s heart to a point. Still, her plan was to leave town after high school, head to college, and never look back.