Magic Michelle

In July 2012, I wrote the following satirical look at the movie “Magic Mike” by turning it on it’s head. A few of you have been asking about it, so here it goes for your reading pleasure…

Guys, there is a new movie coming out soon that I cannot wait to see!  It’s called Magic Michelle.  Here’s the synopsis:

When your life is a fantasy, how do you deal with reality?

As a female stripper, Magic Michelle has everything she could ever want: parties that last all night, hot guys and superfluous money. She takes a younger performer under her wing, teaching her the ropes on how to be the best. As she keeps at the top of the game in the clubs, Michelle struggles with trying to develop a relationship with a guy she really likes. Will she have to choose between her dream world and real life?

This movie looks so great!  And what’s even better is that a bunch of guys in my church are going to go see it with me!  We’re so pumped that we get to go see some of the hottest women in Hollywood strut around the big screen basically (and hopefully completely) naked.  At first I was a little bit worried about talking about going to see this movie.  I was afraid that some of these judgmental Christians I worship God with every Sunday would think that it was wrong.  But then I started seeing all these guys posting status updates on Facebook, all of them saying they were going.  And not just your everyday church members either, but Sunday School teachers, youth group workers, men’s ministry leaders.  I’m so glad that we’ve been able to move past the judgmental stuff in church.  Who cares that as men, we’ve been struggling with lust and have seen pornography destroy millions of men.  I’m stronger than that (I think).

Now, I’m not saying that the teenage guys in our churches need to see it.  I mean, it is rated R.  They’re obviously not mature enough to control themselves at this point of their lives.  But I’m sure I am.  Those of us going are all adults.  There’s nothing to worry about.

Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re probably thinking.  Jesus talked about lust as a bad thing.  But I’m not “lusting” really.  I’m just going with a bunch of my friends to watch a few hot women dance around on stage naked.  There’s nothing wrong with that.  What could be the harm?  Of course, I’d never let my wife go to see anything like this.  I mean, we all know that women can’t handle that sort of thing.  But it’s clearly different with men.

If you want to go with me, just plaster it all over Facebook like everybody else.  It’s time those that don’t know Jesus discover that we’re really not any different from them anyway.

OK, I’ve got to go.  I need to get back to reading 50 Shades of Grey

See you at the movie!

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